Category: Dating and Relationships
Hello out there,
This is Theresa. I want too tell you all a sad story. This is the story about a very bad break up I had. It all started three years ago when I met this guy on Twitter. He worked for this station called *Redacted*. Anyway, we were friends for a time then stopped talking after I told him that I was taken. So this guy and I exchanged numbers and hit it off. Then we started talking again and he feel in love with me. I did the same. So I went too Calafornia too be with him. I stayed there for four munths. Then he had too go out of town for something and he told me I had too go home back too V.A. He told me too find a place and he'll be along in November. That would be November 3rd. But instead, I see this Facebook post with him dumping me publicly all because I found out later that his guide dog had a scare on him that I apparently was supposed to see. When I didn't however, he left me and I was hurt. Very crushed. I cried for a very long time after. I just wanted too get this story out there. This guy left me just because I have some sight. If you're wondering who it is, his name is *Redacted*.
Two things. First, I'm sorry you had a bad break up, those are never any fun.
Second thing, what you've done here is called Doxing. You've put a lot of his
personal information online for anyone to see. I could now figure out where he
lives, I know what he does for a living, I know his name, if I wanted to I could
find out a whole lot more. Doxing is, in my opinion, about the worst thing you
can do to someone online. Its worse than harassment because it allows
someone to be harassed by anyone who wants to, and that harasment can be
taken off the internet and into the real world. So what you've done here is
wrong, very wrong. I understand that you were hurt, and that's very sad, but
you shouldn't give out this much personal information online just because he
broke up with you. That's a very petty and very childish thing to do. Shame on
you.
Well he shouldn't have dumped me. Shame on him. Not me. He was the one who dumped me. If he wants too dump me publicly, then I can do it too. It's called pay back.
An eye for an eye just leaves everyone blind. No, he should not have dumped
you publically, but that does not give you the right to spread his personal
information all over the internet. Just like you didn't want him to dump you
publically, you should treat him how you would like to be treated. it makes you
the bigger person. Leave payback for preppy high school cheerleaders. Be the
bigger person and just let it go.
Just as I thought. None of you care what I went through. What about my pain, my broken hart.
You have my sympathies for that. You do. I hate break ups. They're horrible.
But you should still be the bigger person.
no no, we care, Theresa. It's just... his info is here. I mean, I feel bad for your break up, I really do. You see, I almost went throught the same thing. But, don't spread his info out here. You don't anything bad happening to you or him right?
Now... My attempts to calm someone down is not going out well so... bye bye? :d
and, again, I care. If you want to talk to me privately, unignore me. and pm me.
Well you shouldn't blame me. It's not my falt that I was left. He hurt me bad enough to where I cried. Don't any of you care about that? Or are you guys going to keep making me the bad guy? Because it sounds like you guys are sticking up for him and not on my side.
No, it is not your fault that you were left. He did that, and he did it in a terrible
way. You have all the sympthy possible for that. But it is your fault you put his
information out here for all to see. That was your choice. And in that, you are
the bad guy.
Yeah... agree. but we do care about you. so...
Yeah, well why don't you tell him what I did Big Shot? You think you're all that, well find him, tell him what I did, then we'll have a shouting match him and I. Go on, call him up Big Shot.
Why in the world would I do that? If you want to have a shouting match, you do
that on your own time. I'm not going to get involved with your romantic drama.
Well Big Shot, you're the one who won't stick up for me. So find him, tell him what I did and watch me get yelled at by him. Watch me cry. Watch him keep hurting me. Go on, find him.
Now you're just being dramatic. If you'd just told the story of your breakup, I'd
be absolutely supportive of you. What he did was horrible, and his reasons were
stupid. I completely agree with you about that. But that doesn't mean you get
to just do whatever you want. They're two separate issues. You are both wrong.
That doesn't make him right.
Oh just go find him. You want too see me cry. Don't you. If I cry, it doesn't matter to you if you feel good in the long run. So go find him and watch me cry Big Shot.
Ok, I'm done. You just feel sorry for yourself. I'm done. I think the CL's should
remove your post. Doxing should be banned.
dude, stop! shout all you want you selfish person! people actually feel sorry for you and you are over here screaming! well, shut the hell up, because I don't care anymore.
This is ridiculous. I don't even know you, but it's ridiculous.
You were dumped publicly and for a stupid reason. That sucks.
You responded by doxing this guy. That sucks just as much, if not more.
Frankly, if you're going to be this dramatic and narrow-minded, you probably weren't fit to be in a relationship anyway, and if he hadn't broken up with you over this, he would've broken up with you for another reason. On post 1 you had my sympathy, up to a point. Now you've shot it to hell.
You don't have to care about what I think. That's fine. But it's not up to anyone else but you to sort out your own crap. If you expected unconditional support without judgment, think again. You did something wrong in reaction to something bad done to you. Ever heard the expression "two wrongs don't make a right"? That applies in spades here.
You need to sort yourself out before you even think of getting yourself into another emotionally vulnerable position. Right now you have demonstrated that you can't take any sort of criticism, and that simply won't do if you expect to be in a fulfilling relationship with anyone. Yours is not the only perspective. His was not the only wrong. The sooner you get over that, the better.
I'll just close with something to hopefully nip a potential problem in the bud:
Please don't challenge me, insult me, attack me or prevail upon me to find your ex and bash him. You're here, and I said my peace. I'm done here. If this topic explodes, maybe I'll slip back in to watch, but I'm done speaking here. Before you get a shred of help, assuming you want help, you must be willing and able to accept wrongdoing instead of passing the buck. Until you do that, you get nothing. And until you do that, your words mean nothing to me, so don't waste them on me.
Oh go give yourself a blow job you stupid jerk.
wow. just wow. Apple girl all over again... just wow.
I will ignore all of you if you don't feel sorry for me.
You already have me on ignore so... I'm so good with that. I was feeling sorry for you until you like ruined the reason to feel sorry for you. so boo hoo! ignore everyone. we don't care. do we?
Well folks. This is how it is.
We will support the broken hearts, or we are wrong.
End of story.
I will say, and it isn't good, but.
If he spread her info out, I guess no harm is done giving it back.
We'll not contact him, so.
Smile.
Also. Can I ask a question?
This wasn't recent?
I ask this because I know for a fact you have been looking like this fall?
Okay, normally I would not even respond to a posting like yours. As I was reading all your posts, I actually thought for a moment that just maybe you were being deliberately theatrical for the purpose of being entertaining. being dramatic. But now I'm quite sure that you were somewhat serious. I really hope that before you post any more on this topic that you will take some time to calm down and think things through. I realize that you have been very hurt, but your reaction reminds me very much of a teen-ager gthrowing a tantrum because things didn't go their way. I seriously doubt that you would portray yourself in such a negative way. This is probably not the first time you have been hurt nor will it likely be the last time if you live long enough. The stress you are causing yourself over this situation cannot be healthy for you. So again I ask that you calm down and look at all the positive qualities you have and not bring anymore attention to those negative ones you have unleashed so far. I say these things not to criticize, but to remind you that you are not the only one who has been through heartache over a big let down. So please give yourself some time to cool off and heal.
Sweet advice really.
Lmao must be a troll. This can't be serious.
awe, thanks, Fay!
I agree with everyone here Beautiful Girl. Being broken up with harshly is a horrible experience. Did it, sadly, and have had it done. No fun at all. You have my sympathy, just as you have the sympathies of everyone here, which is what you were looking for. Nobody here is being cruel to you; not even Cody, who was surprisingly delicate. But even though you are no doubt hurting, you are only hurting yourself by seeking vengeance. The guy was a jerk, yes. Stupid as bugger reason to break up with someone. Nobody is denying that. But lashing out at those who are not immediately saying aww, poor you is not doing you any favors. Like I say, it sucks what happened to you. But take it from me, you'll move on in time. Use this as a learning experience. Have a good cry, get the stress out. But please, think before you strike out in anger at other people who are not him. As one who takes criticism hard sometimes myself, I understand how hard it can be. But a when a few people offer you suggestions, it may be them. When lots of people do it, then you have to think, is there something I could be improving on?
Wow, Um, Cody is right.
Everyone goes through breakups, simply everyone, or most. No-one will deny they are absolutely horrible, but as Cody says, you need to be the bigger person here.
Theresa,
Some time from now you will be able to look back at this time and remember the pain without it hurting so much and realize how IT changed you.
If you haven't been on here for long you would have known that Codey (SilverLightning), a nice guy and smart one carries a reputation of being quite often heavyhanded and sharp with his words, despite this, he has showen you immense kindness.
You might consider an apology to him in the near future.
What this guy did to you must feel so bad and hurts like hell. I am sorry your having to feel this pain.
A good friend of mine told me once when I was hurting that all the pain will teach the two of us to love the next person stronger and to both become better people or we would rot in our own pain becoming worse than we were with one another.
When a person tells everyone how horrible we are and then in retalitation we go out and tell everyone how horrible they are instead, it only supports their opinion and lies of you.
I hope when you're not letting your emotions run you mad and you feel a little bit better, you can realize how you can be so much better than him and you can make a better life for yourself. You are quite lucky you are so far away and in a place where you do not have the chance to run in to him.
Trust me, that gets a bit uncomfortable.
Also, if guys could, they would try to blow themselves but I am sure the novelty would wear off quickly once they realize what they have done. LOL!
The only problem is we get one side of the story.
The interesting thing would be for him to post why he felt he wanted to break if off.
I know it isn't nice, but sometimes we, and that includes yours truly, aren't 100% justified in feeling wronged.
Sometimes it isn't even that you are wrong, or wronged, it is just once a person has spent some time with you, that 4 months, they learn you, or they just aren't what they felt it was going to be.
I know most can't just call these things experiences, but they truly are.
It is my strong opinion, that if we learn to get out of these things gracefully, we'll move on and live happier.
It is a waste of my time to be feeling hurt.
I guess my life is to short for it.
Sure, I know this post isn't going to be received, and most will say it is flat out callous, but if you think it over, you will mend, or you suffer alone.
All of you just shut up and say I'm right and he was wrong. For goodness sakes, stick up for me.
No, because you were not right. You were wrong, and he was wrong. Two
wrongs. To say otherwise would be to lie.
no, because there's three sides to every story your side, his side, and the truth.
I am convinced of one of two things at this point:
1. This is trolling, pure and simple
2. This is the product of some form of emotional or mental handicap.
The OP's profile says she's 37, which is long past the age where most people have behaviour like this. I'd expect it from someone a third that age, maybe, but not a whole lot older.
The OP's profile also mentions that she has many "albums", yet the only way she can share them with you is to call you on the telephone in order to sing to you.
She also repeats herself a great deal, seems to be really good and stuck on certain concepts, and generally does not act the way the average thirty-seven-year-old probably acts.
But I'm obviously not intimately acquainted with her, so I can't say for sure. It could all be an act. I could just be flat wrong. God knows it's happened before.
The point is, the response should be the same.
Whether it's deliberate trolling or the result of some sort of disability, feeding it is pointless. Ignoring it is best.
true, Gregg! just true!
While I am sympathetic about the break-up and how that was handled on this guy's part, that is about as far as my sympathy extends in this case.
I agree with Silver and others who have said displaying personal info in retaliation for a break-up that is noone's business but the parties involved, is something teenagers or vengeful exes do.
Throwing a tantrum and acting like a spoiled child who didn't get what he wanted from mum at the toystore, demanding sympathy while dwelling on what happened,then angrily bashing those of us who tell you your actions are disrespectful will not earn you many friends. if this behavior persists offline, some serious personal reflection on your part is overdue.
Time to put on the woman panties, seek counseling if the emotional issues you clearly seem to be coping poorly with at the present time are making life a challenge, and grow and learn from this experience rather than playing the "poor me" card.
wake up and smell the coffee. Break-ups happen to us all. what matters now is how you choose to move forward apart from this person either with acceptance of the circumstances, or in rage over something that is beyond anyone's control.
Sorry. Some folks do this at 40 50 60 and they have no mental issues.
Medically, that is.
So.
**sticks up for Beautiful girl**
Smile.
Fine, whatever. I give up.
don't give up, I won't give up, don't give up, no no no! I mean... go ahead! do what ever you want.
guys, this is not trolling, she actually acts like this. she messaged me on facebook, asked for my number, then told me I didn't care about her, and hated her all because I didn't give it to her. also, you may want to pay attention to the uses of too, to, and two.
Okay, she's made it perfectly clear what she wants. She wants to be stood up for. She doesn't want advice, justd to be told she's right and he's wrong. Mystery solved. I wish you the best Beautiful Girl.
yup.
Sounds like there is an underlying mental health issue on top of having absolutely no backbone whatsoever, but that's just my assessment of this person's behavior. weird and quite frankly, Theresa, you need help from a professional. if you've tried that already and nothing they've suggested or said to you is getting through, then that's not our problem.
Teresa I suffered from a horrible break up at the end of September. My ex is still a
member on the Zone. He left me for a friend I introduced him to on Facebook. First of all I
never included names or other information. Second Cody has never spoke in that sort of
tone on my posts. He's always been much meaner to me. However, deep down I believe
he is a decent guy. I'm not going to feel sorry for you, and I will not pity you. However, I'll
do my best to help you move on, and beseech you to not fixate on the pain. Keep yourself
busy to the point you can't think about him. So, you ate an apple with some poison in it.
This is not the end of you. Until you have an almost picture perfect relationship that ended
with your soul mate dying you still have options. You never know what can happen around
the corner. The main thing for you to do is learn from what he did to you. I used to feel
exactly as you do. I'm still depressed at times, but I have to soldier through it. I learned
from my past relationship never give out your heart too quickly. Look for signs you're only
being used, and not to be too available. That's why I'm not interested in anyone for now.
I'll continue to focus on myself, and keep learning through others wiser than myself. I'll
tell you a large outlet for me is music.I listen to Icon For Hire religiously.
I don't even want to talk about this anymore. I was finished talking about yesterday.
Unfortunately as I've been told in a similar post that didn't go my way it's not over until
everyone on the Zone decides that. Obviously many people care about you. Otherwise you
wouldn't get sympathy for your pain. An eye for an eye isn't the way. I know others
having it worse doesn't make it better. However, I think the main point is you can't have
your all the time, and if you behaved like this in the relationship it may have disturbed
him. I think you need therapy to modify your behavior.
we're not forcing you to click on the link. If you're done, prove it, stop reading
what is said on the post.
Similar behavior to Poison Princess, it seems to me. Starting a topic, not liking the responses, then throwing a fit because people won't stop replying. LOL
** sticks up for Beautiful girl some more.**
I am Poison Princess Violet Blue, and I thank you for pointing that out to her. I learned
through a few of the people who truly got on my case which does not include you.
However, in my first board post I never wanted anything except for my ex boyfriend to
feel ashamed of his actions. Do I regret my behavior? Sure I do; however the thing I
mainly regret is making it public. Most if any of you haven't had a picture perfect
relationship where you lose that person to death. That's why in the last nine years it's
been hard on me to get over certain people. My current ex was the worse because he
pretended to love me to get free stuff out of me. So, I'm no stranger to pain. However, I
don't fit the rumors you hear about me. Lately my physical pain out weighs my emotional
pain. I meant what I said you learn from each relationship. I think it's silly to give anyone
your heart these days because you never know what will happen. Anyways, my head
hurts, and I'm sick of typing.
Unfortunately, that will probably not be your last break up, but I am sure you will survive any future ones as well.